Hi mom, I'm here at this country club & of course my husband once again is a no show! It seems I’m going to spend the day alone, might as well order a drink. So this bartender, he goes by the name, Colby Jansen, at the county club is cute & I didn't mind telling him. Seems he thinks the same about me… Oh it's my husband calling me…what? you can’t make it, fuck you! Oh fuck, I'm all wet, I spilled this drink all over me. I have to take this off, this dress is worth $300 & it has to be taken to the dry cleaner immediately! Please Colby take care of it for me & I’ll take care of you! Hell, I’ll be getting divorced anyway!